The anxious pursuer

Today Rachel and I did our podcast on the positives of being an anxious pursuer in relationships. I identify with the anxious attachment style and sometimes chaotic attachment style. Lots of trauma therapy has proved helpful with soothing the chaotic style. My amped up pursuer shows up in most relationships.

The anxious attachment individuals as a child sought having their needs met by the primary caregiver. When the parental figure is preoccupied with their own needs whether that’s emotional or physical; they often miss their child’s cry for help. Hence the child protests and cries out more to be seen and heard.

The anxious pursuer is relentless in seeking out positive connections with others. Even while having a fear of rejection or abandonment, the anxious pursuer will continue to reach and attempt repair with friends, family and their partners. Sometimes we over-reach and become annoying to people we care about. We tend to send a 100 texts a day and think about what you need or want. Yes it is overwhelming to the receiver.

The care system of the anxious type will accommodate and include you in most events or activities. They long for the face to face interactions. Their intentions are two parts, they need you to see them and they want you to feel bonded to them. They truly care about your well being. Unless of course you stonewall us, then we get mad and say mean stuff!

We enjoy team work and we love positive feedback, and words of affirmation.

We will work hard to get it right for the boss and our fellow team!

When we love, we love hard. Our intentions are pure and our longings for you to see us are real.

Your counselor,

Linda Goad LPC,NCC, ALPS, Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, Supervisor in Training